Macabre...ish Art Blog: Projecting My Insecurities on My Art


Projecting My Insecurities on My Art



I love the act of creating and all the work leading up to it. Sourcing the raw materials gives me an actual high! I love nature and wood grain gives me joy. Looking through all the different types of wood...walnut, cedar, poplar, cherry(...holy crap is that burl?!), mesmerizing, I could get lost in it.


Then my eye falls on this twisted, slightly gnarly piece of wood. Knobby, knotty, kind of angry looking irregular piece and it stops me in my tracks.


Twisted up little tree ogre.


The ugly sapling.


That’s the piece I want. That weird, ugly, odd piece. The piece no one else wants. The scraps and discards that’ll just end up in the dump or the fire pile. It’s nothing but movement and character, like a secret lies in that wood that will never be told and it’s taking everything in it, to keep it inside.


We know about those kinds of secrets. They cause cancer, rot and decay. They’ll put lines in your face and give you grey hair at 25. Secrets that’ll twist a supple young body into a wizened, stooped form.


But there’s beauty, even in that, the torture of surviving, even spite of and against all odds. Existing even when existence seems impossible. Surviving everything and until the very end, still disregarded for the common beauty that’s lived through nothing, no hardship whatsoever.


That wood is like a mirror to me. I see all the beauty, all the life and great potential. The life, in spite of...I’m taking it home and oiling, waxing, shaping it brings all that beauty out. All the swirls and designs that doesn’t exist in the common beauty. Nope.


Only life creates this, a hard life, beauty that only comes from succeeding where other’s have failed. Surviving when other’s have died. And finally chosen for the battle wounds that formerly, made you unworthy.


I see beauty in that struggle, the struggle make it and us more valuable, not less. More interesting, not less. More worthy. Give me the weird, the ugly, the strange and I will show you it’s beauty. I will show you art.


Also published on Medium.