Macabre...ish Horror Review: Cabin in the Woods




Cabin in the Woods, 2012/ 95 min. The movie opens on what appears to be a normal work day in a corporate office with regular jaded and unappreciated workers but no, this is a high tech, underground facility with a secret it’s been involved in for ages.


And controllers, Sitterson (Richard Jenkins) and Hadley (Bradley Whitford) are planning for it and the betting pool surrounding said plan.




Meanwhile, college friends (Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison and Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, are heading to a cabin for the weekend. And many of them inexplicably begin making out of character, physical and personality changes. Unbeknownst to them, they are being manipulated and controlled by Sitterson and Hadley, from their control room, via mind altering drugs. The coworkers also start the betting on how the kids will die. 



On the way, the friends stop for directions and encounter an attendant who seems paranoid and is rude, for sure. They write him off as out there but really he works with The Facility. Arriving at the cabin it seems very familiar and sinister.



They get comfortable and find a hidden one way mirror between 2 of the rooms, hidden microphones and a cellar full of relics from many of our beloved horror movies. But the group is attracted to and read from an old journal with a terrible story. Reading from this begins a nightmarish chain of events that represents a series of ancient rites that keeps the world from ending. It’s clear the people in the facility has been involved in this for ages, so long, that they no longer take it seriously and cheat and cut corners in the rites at every turn until they finally fail, to the surprise of everyone in the facility.




We discover this is an annual, ritual sacrifice that appeases the Ancient Ones. There are specific archetypes that are necessary. The Whore, the Athlete, the Scholar, the Fool and the Virgin. The whore must die first and the virgin, last. All other facilities around the world have failed and if this one does then entire human race is exterminated.



Back at the cellar, the rite has begun and the family of zombies, The Buckner’s, have been released, out of the thousands of possible monsters, housed in the underground facility.



And the people in the control room, work to make sure sacrifices are made in the right order. But it goes seriously awry, for a lot of reasons, and it costs everyone by the end.



In order to stop it, one last desperate effort is made when The Director (Sigourney Weaver) is sent in to force the right outcome. 



This is a good movie with a good concept, I really enjoyed it. It had a great cast and the effects were divine. Where there was blood, there was a ton of it and gore all the way to the gore fest extreme. I enjoyed all of the monsters and different kinds on kills. Lots of unexpected things to see here. Well done! 


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