Macabre…ish Horror Review: Even Lambs Have Teeth

Even Lambs Have Teeth, 2015/ 1 hr 19 min.


Two friends, Sloane (Kristen Prout) and Katie (Tiera Scovbye), are drugged and abducted by their ride to a farm. They wake up in shipping containers in the woods, set up with lights and a cot. The two guys who abducted them also brought camping equipment and clothes for them. It seems that this is a family business.


When Uncle Jason (Michael Karl Richards) calls Katie’s phone, one of the abductors respond to him, for her and incorrectly uses her safety protocol. So her uncle, who’s with the FBI, will be alerted to danger. The sheriff arrives and they think they’re saved but he’s a customer, taunting them.


A parade of creeps arrive to take their turn. Meanwhile, Jason goes to the sheriff to report them missing after contacting the farm they were supposed to be at and finding out, they never arrived. He finds out what vehicle they were last seen in and who it belongs too. It belongs to Boris (Patrick Gilmore).


This warped family decide to discard Katie and   Sloane because they don’t want to risk the cops snooping around. The quicker their bodies are found, the better. They’ll just replace them with girls off the next bus. But Katie overhears them and takes the first opportunity she can to attack. She bites the neck of the look-out and her first rapist (Graem Beddoes) and kills him. And they escape their restraints.


The sheriff (Craig March) alerts the family and demand Boris destroy the truck at the same time he kills the girls because it was recognized. When he arrives and sees the dead man, the girls steal his car and escapes. Still covered in blood, they go to the hardware store and load up on tools. They’re not going home just yet, they ask the cashier (Robert Corness) where they can find Boris.


At this point, everyone is looking for Boris. Katie and Sloane find Boris at home and ties him to his dining table, he tries to buy his way out with money, so the girls take the money and now they are going to make him pay. And jam a nail tipped club up his butt. He bleeds out after Uncle Jason arrives minutes after the pair leave in Boris’ truck.


Jason calls his niece’s phone again and it rings in the sheriff’s pocket. The sheriff takes him captive with a gun in his face and ties him up at an old bed and breakfast where he brings the new captives.


At the church, Sloane and Katie find the Pastor (Christian Sloan) is one of the brothers. Katie swings a home run at the back of his head and chains him to the back of the truck. After dragging him around town, they dowse him with fuel and light him on fire.


Sloane and Katie sneak up behind the sheriff in the b&b while he’s molesting the new girls. After tying him up, they play some russian roulette with him. But he’s the only player and he loses. Afterward, they free the new girls and tell them to free Jason, who’s still tied up in the other room.


Next on the list is, Lucas, Jed (Garrett Black) and their mother. She drugged the girls and was drugged in turn. They tie her up and makes her watch them beat her son, Jed to death. Then they tell Lucas beat his mother and if he doesn’t, he gets a bullet. And once again, the duo are offered money in return for her life. So they take the money and her life. It’s a death by weed eater.


Katie and Sloane return home and head to New York to live but at the airport they see someone they recognize holding up an Eco Field Organic Farm sign and they take a detour.


This horror film was directed by Terry Miles. It is a revenge horror not unlike I Spit On Your Grave but with humor and not as bleak. It is a girlfriend flick with a revenge spin and satisfying ending. This is graphic and some what gory. The kills are graphic but the trafficking part is not but it’s still tough to watch.


Trigger Warning: Sex Trafficking, rape