Macabre...ish Horror Review: Hatchet


Hatchet is a 2007 ode to the classic old school American horror movie. Including the negative ones gratuitous nudity, every kind of slur and stereotype, just letting you know . Before the credits roll there are two heinous deaths, they are disemboweled and their bodies dismembered, torn apart with someone’s bare hands.  And you’ll recognize the famous face of one of them. In fact there are plenty of recognizable faces in this movie.


The setting is New Orleans, during Mardi Gras, a group of tourist take an ill fated and particularly lame haunted swamp tour hosted by a young man who knows nothing about local lore, including the legend of local deformed madman, Victor Crowley. Who it seems, may be haunting the swamp once again.


Victor Crowley was a child born with great deformities and was raised alone in the woods by his Dad. He was bullied relentlessly by kids at school and on one Halloween night, the kids accidentally lit the Crowley’s house on fire and Mr. Crowley tried desperately to get his son out and in doing so accidentally struck his son in the face with the axe. For the next many years, Mr. Crowley was an inconsolable recluse until dying of a broken heart. And from that point on people have disappeared from the woods. And the story is if you go near the house, you can hear Victor crying for his Dad and that he haunts the woods.



Back to the story...The tourists get stranded, in the rain, on the tour and are forced to bale out of the boat and on to shore. It’s downhill from there. Because they bale out, right near the Crowley house. 


So in true throwback slasher style, one by one they are killed in the goriest, bloodiest most heinous ways and doing the kind of damage that only an impossibly strong, giant man wielding an hatchet can do. 


This movie is bloody, gory, graphic, impalings, decapitations, dismemberments...frankly people are killed by every impossible way a human body can be torn to shreds. Very effects heavy and every single one, you loved from the 80s and 90s is probably in this movie, plus some. Good cinematography and music. Gore fans, this one’s for you! 




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