Macabre…ish Horror Review: Haunted House of Pancakes

Someone opened a diner, replacing another diner that formerly caught fire and burned with people inside. The owner of this new establishment is a sketchy guy and he’s put his diner in the hands of a cook, who, as it turns out, can’t operate haunted items. Not yet anyway. The waffle iron that was procured for this establishment is vintage and came from ebay or something like it.

The operation of this iron immediately goes wrong and injures the first and second person who tries to operate it. The first leaves behind enough blood to get it sizzling and the second is ‘bitten’ by the thing and as a result, he’s possessed by some kind of entity. The first waffles cooked with that iron are sentient, evil beings.

Despite this, the evening’s service seems to go surprisingly well. Until the food starts biting back. And it’s not just waffles either, every bit of food that comes out of that kitchen is animated and violent. All under the watchful eyes of the original sentient waffles. The patrons try to fight for their lives as burgers, salads and pizzas attack.

But the patrons aren’t just killed, they are transformed much in the same way that people are transformed in Hellraiser. One woman is now part salad, there are ‘men’ now with a waffle iron head and a stack of pancake head. So the only reasonable thing to call them are ceno-breakfasts.

But wait, there’s more…somehow the toilets gain sentience and are what can only be described as man-eating were-toilets. So if you happen to be a fan of Hellraiser, you’ll either love or hate this movie. You’ll have to watch and decide for yourselves.

At any rate, it turns out that waffle iron has quite the storied and violent history and the diner will end the way it began. I personally really enjoyed how crazy this movie got and I thought it was fun. My biggest issue with it is how visually dark it was. Many of the characters like the cop was a joy to watch and the cinematographer and the art department really pulled out all the stops. The physical effects were great! Movies like this is, in part, why I love cinema and horror in particular. My youth was filled with movies like this, from Meet The Feebles, Hellraiser and Killer Condom to Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Killer Tongue and Killer Klowns from Outer Space. It’s sheer imagination, audacity, humor and love of the genre.

The director, Nathan Dalton was also a writer on Attack of the Killer Donuts. The cinematographer, Jon Isberg (also the director of Final Summer) was a guest on my podcast, Macabre…ish Cults, Classics & Horrors podcast. You should give it a listen! https://linktr.ee/macabre_ish