Macabre…ish Horror Review: Rare Exports



Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale, 2010/ 82 min


A mining company has found something very interesting at a drilling site. The biggest burial mound on Earth and it is expected to be opened up and looted within 24 days.


Meanwhile, one kid, Pietari (Onni Tommila), is hellbent on studying the origins of Santa and his possible existence. And Pietari’s dad, Rauno (Jorma Tommila) is right outside digging, building and baiting wolf traps. Maybe they’ll catch who ever has been walking around on their roof.


At the foot of the mountain that contains the burial ground lies an entire herd of reindeer, all dead, except two. The loss has bankrupted the herders, who angrily confront the mining company. They arrive to find the base, empty. But they left a massive hole in the mountain.


The kids think it’s Santa and his elves who has been unearthed. The story is he was lured over then ice and fell through, capturing him and burying him in what is now the mountain. And now he and his elves are loose, thanks to the mining coming. This is not the Coca Cola created, Macy’s promoted jolly Santa. The real Santa is a monster, to be feared, there are no gifts just punishment and horror. And all naughty kids will get his wrath and be so obliterated that not even their bones will be left.


Pietari is also ready. He’s booby trapped the fire place, sealed the 24th advent calendar door shut, armed himself, suited up and taped his butt. Those are the rules folks! And the police are reporting a lot of weird stuff happening in town, strange thefts too.


Those left of the company try to call off the excavation but it’s too late. It’s Christmas Eve.


It begins with a naked, emaciated old man found caught in Rauno’s illegal trap. He with his friend, Pilparenin (Rauno Juvonen) decide to dispose of the body so he doesn’t get in trouble and then it moves. But that’s not necessarily a good thing because after he bites off part of Pilparenin’s face, they tie him up and suspends him from the rafters.


This man is strange and it only gets weirder when they discover there are a lot if scrawny, naked old men running around and they discovered just what has happened to all the missing kids and heaters in town.


When it’s all said and done, the town ends up with an unusual problem, the solution, even more so.


This is a Finnish fantasy action horror film. The story and pacing is good and what gore there is, is graphic but there isn’t much. There are more jump scares than blood and guts. It’s a solid Christmas fantasy horror!